Will my dog eventually stop barking when I leave?

According to Google, one of the most common search questions that people use to find me is “will my dog eventually stop barking when I leave?” As a separation anxiety specialist, I meet many of my clients after a noise complaint, eviction threat, or conflict with neighbors has made their dog’s barking an emergency. If you found your way here via a similar route, I have the answer you're looking for (although it's probably not the answer you want): probably not. Here's why:

Why your dog won’t stop barking:

When we’re assessing a behavior we want to modify, one of the first questions that we need to ask is “is the dog upset?” When we're dealing with a dog who is barking, howling, or whining persistently and excessively, we are most likely looking at a dog who is upset. If your dog’s barking is persistent enough to have you searching the internet for help, you’re probably not dealing with a bored dog but one who is fearful, anxious, or panicking. Unfortunately, even if the root of the problem is “just” boredom or frustration, the fact that it has persisted long enough for you to be seeking expert advice means it’s unlikely to resolve on its own.

To understand why dogs who bark while alone continue barking, rather than settling after their people have left, let’s look at both these scenarios: the upset dogs and the dogs who aren’t upset.

Scenario 1: Your dog is upset.

If your dog is upset and they are barking as a way of coping with their distress, then every bark is evidence that they are having a bad experience with alone time. With each repeated bad experience being alone, your dog receives more evidence that alone time is scary. As you leave, their body floods with stress hormones. Their heart races, their breathing quickens, perhaps they begin to drool uncontrollably. By the time you’re out the door, your dog is in the middle of a panic attack, and that panic and fear only grows as they remain trapped in isolation.

With each scary absence, whether it’s 30 seconds, 30 minutes, or 3 hours longer than they can handle, your dog has their worst fears confirmed: when you leave, they are in for a terrible time. We may think “but nothing bad happened! I came right back!” However, it’s important to recognize that the experience of panic, the grip of fear, is itself a “bad thing.” Whether or not your dog experiences physical injury in your absence, the “fight or flight” response that derails their day is a terrible thing to experience.

When dogs are given repeated scary experiences with their trigger (in this case, your departure) they are very likely to sensitize to the trigger. That is, repeated scary encounters with something make that thing more scary, not less. As your dog heads into their 50th scary absence, they’re likely to have an even greater fear response than during their 1st scary absence, because of the dozens of experiences that have confirmed their fear is justified. You may see this increased fear in their behavior after you leave (more intense and frequent barking, increasing destructiveness, loss of bowel or bladder control, self-injury) or you may see their growing fear in your pre-departure routine (keys are scary when they didn’t used to be, and so are your shoes and your coat and you packing up your laptop). You may see both these changes, as fear increases on either side of the “big event.”

If your dog is scared of being alone, they need help learning how to be alone safely. That help is not going to come in the form of repeated scary absences, but in giving your dog a break from their fear. Only by giving your dog a break from the cycle of toxic stress, fear, and anticipatory anxiety can we begin to change their emotional response to this profoundly distressing trigger.

Scenario 2: Your dog is NOT upset.

Although less common, there are cases in which dogs are barking persistently while alone but aren’t feeling fearful or anxious. These dogs may be bored, frustrated, or responding to external triggers like people walking by a window, noises in a neighbor’s apartment, or construction sounds down the block.

While these dogs aren’t displaying the typical panic response we see from dogs living with separation anxiety or isolation distress, the unfortunate reality is that their barking is still unlikely to resolve spontaneously. In some way, this behavior is serving a function for these dogs, and so they will continue to do it. Whether it’s a relief from boredom, the satisfaction of “chasing away” a potential intruder, a superstitious belief that barking makes you come home, or any other reason, dogs who bark persistently while home alone feel that this behavior is “working” for them in some way. With each absence they spend barking, they get more practice with this behavior, build their stamina for longer alone time operas, and receive more reinforcement for barking (in the form of entertainment, watchdog “success”, or simply the opportunity to “be a dog” without punishment.)

If your dog is barking while they’re alone, and this is a behavior persistent enough to have you turning to Google for answers, it is very unlikely they are going to stop on their own. If they were going to get bored of barking and opt for other alone time behavior, they would have done so already!

In order to stop your dog’s alone time barking and build peaceful absences, we’ll need to understand what unmet need this behavior fills for your dog, and how we can provide alternatives that keep you both happy.

Either way: You need to suspend absences!

Whether your dog is having a panic attack or barking because they think it “works” in some way, our solution is the same: we need to take a break from leaving them alone. Suspending absences - or at least the absences long enough for your dog to start barking - will protect anxious dogs from their toxic stress and prevent bored or frustrated dogs from practicing a behavior we want to eliminate. Every absence that lasts long enough for your dog to bark strengthens the behavior you want less of, while further straining your relationship with neighbors.

Suspending scary absences can be a daunting prospect, but it’s a crucial step in teaching your dog to handle being alone. Only once we give your dog a break from “hard” time alone can we begin practicing the “easy” absences that will convince them your departure is a cue to take a nap rather than launch into endless barking.

If you are living with a dog who is experiencing clinical separation anxiety (only your presence will stave off panic, and no other human or animal “counts” as company), please reach out for personalized help. This is a behavior emergency that needs much more specific and careful advice than you can get from a blog post.

If you have the relative fortune to live with a dog who is experiencing a different behavior issue under the separation-related behavior problem umbrella (they can’t be alone but they are comfortable with any human company, or they panic when left while crated but are comfortable when left loose in the house), it is not necessary to spend every moment with your dog but rather to eliminate the absences in the problem context. This could mean recruiting a friend, neighbor, or pet sitter to stay with them, sending them to daycare, or changing the conditions of their time alone so they are able to be comfortable and calm - for example, avoiding crated absences.

Whatever absence suspension looks like for you and your dog, please understand that it is not permanent. Giving your dog a break from scary absences is a crucial step to making all absences safe, rather than a lifetime commitment with no end in sight. With consistent absence suspension and careful training, most dogs are able to overcome their fear of being alone and live relatively “normal” lives.

What else can you do to help your dog with alone time?

Suspending absences is one of the most important steps you can take to conquer your dog’s alone time barking, no matter the root cause. Other steps you can take to help your dog conquer their issues with time alone include:

Talk to your vet:

Medical issues including pain can fuel behavior issues, so it is important to rule out physical problems that could be leaving your dog unsettled. Your vet will also help you determine whether your dog has clinical separation anxiety or some other issue, and can offer additional support for your training. If you are looking for a behavior-savvy vet in the US, check out the Fear Free Directory to find a Fear Free Certified vet near you.

Increase your dog body language fluency:

Growing your understanding of how your dog expresses fear, anxiety, and discomfort will help you interpret their alone time behavior so you can resolve it. Check out Doggie Language by Lili Chin and iSpeakDog.

Increase enrichment:

Giving your dog more opportunities to engage in species-normal behaviors like chewing, scavenging, sniffing, and social play will support your dog’s overall mental health and well-being, giving them a foundation of wellness that supports all other training goals. Giving your dog food toys to unstuff can be a great form of enrichment, but this is just the tip of the iceberg! For more information on this topic and some practical ideas you can apply to your daily life with your dog, pick up a copy of Canine Enrichment for the Real World by Allie Bender and Emily Strong.

Recruit a specialist:

Separation anxiety and other problems under this umbrella can ruin your life with your dog and leave you feeling frustrated, resentful, and burnt out. You and your dog both deserve relief from this behavior challenge, and I can help! As a Certified Separation Anxiety Trainer, alone time issues are my specialty. If you’re ready to conquer this behavior and take back your independence, please book a free call to access expert advice, tailored to your and your dog’s unique needs.