Resolving Separation Anxiety in Dogs: A Compassionate Approach
Separation anxiety in dogs is a common behavioral issue that can cause distress for both pets and their owners. The symptoms can range from mild whining and pacing to more severe behaviors like destructive chewing, non-stop barking and howling, and even self-mutilation. However, with patience, understanding, and a gradual approach, it's possible to help your furry friend overcome their anxiety and become more comfortable with being alone.
Understanding Separation Anxiety:
Before delving into solutions, it's important to understand what separation anxiety is and how it manifests in dogs. Separation anxiety is not simply a case of your dog missing you when you're away—it's a profound fear or distress triggered by being separated from their primary human. This anxiety can be exacerbated by a variety of factors, including past experiences, changes in routine, a move or rehoming, and more. While clinical separation anxiety is a fear of being separated from a single, specific human, many use the phrase “separation anxiety” to refer to a variety of separation-related behavior problems which manifest with similar behaviors including vocalizing, destruction, and indoor elimination. Thankfully, these behavior problems - and the fear and distress that often drive them - can be resolved with patience and careful training.
The Role of Absence Suspension in Separation Anxiety Training:
Absence suspension is a crucial component of resolving separation anxiety in dogs. During training, it's essential that you don't leave your dog alone for longer than they can handle, even if that means taking a break from all absences except those that take place during careful training exercises. This helps prevent your dog from experiencing scary alone time that could provide them with “evidence” that alone time truly is a dangerous event that they need to fear.
Suspending absences can be a daunting prospect for many pet guardians, especially those who have busy schedules or rely on leaving their dog alone for extended periods. However, with the help of an experienced guide, you can find creative solutions to meet this training requirement without causing undue stress to your dog. As a separation anxiety specialist, I work with clients around the country to find ways to keep their dogs (and their homes) safe while we build new skills to handle time apart.
Common Absence Suspension Strategies:
Hiring a pet sitter or dog walker to keep your dog company when you leave
Bringing dog-friendly dogs to daycare where they will not be alone
Hiring a reward-based dog trainer for day training sessions
Asking a neighbor or friend to stay with your dog in your home
Finding other dog guardians living with separation anxiety nearby and “pup swapping” - you take turns watching both dogs so that neither is alone
Reaching out to members of local churches, universities, and other community organizations for pet sitting help
Posting a cute picture of your dog on social media (Instagram, NextDoor, Facebook, etc) with a message requesting help with absence coverage
Every dog is an individual, and so is their human! What works for one dog may not work for another, but I can help you craft a personalized absence suspension plan that works for you both.
Resolution through Gradual Exposure:
One of the most effective methods for resolving separation anxiety in dogs is systematic desensitization, or gradual exposure. This approach involves carefully exposing your dog to being alone by gradually increasing the duration and intensity of their alone time. Starting with short absences that are not stressful for your dog and slowly building up their tolerance over time is key. It is important to note that a dog who is “holding it together” through an absence they are uncomfortable with is not going to make progress as quickly or steadily as a dog who is truly relaxed and comfortable with the time apart from their human. In fact, these repeated challenging absences can cause the dog to become more anxious rather than less, even if the challenge is not great enough to cause the problem behaviors that sent you looking for help. Identifying your dog’s comfort level and working well within it is crucial.
Why is gradual exposure so effective? Dogs, like humans, can learn to overcome fears and anxieties through repeated exposure in a safe and controlled environment. By gradually increasing the duration of their alone time, you're giving your dog the opportunity to build confidence and realize that being alone is not something to be feared. As your dog builds new coping skills, we can increase the “realism” of these training exercises by folding in more pre-departure cues such as keys, shoes, jackets, and purses.
Creating a Personalized Training Plan:
One size does not fit all when it comes to resolving separation anxiety in dogs! Each dog is unique, with their own triggers and thresholds for stress. That's why it's important to create a personalized training plan tailored to your dog's specific needs.
Identifying the point at which your dog begins to feel anxious about your departure is essential. For some dogs, anxiety begins after several seconds alone, while others can handle several minutes before they fall apart. For many dogs, anxiety begins even before you’ve left, as clues in your routine tell them an absence is coming.
In order to accurately determine your dog’s starting point, it is crucial to observe them throughout the leaving routine and for any length of time you spend outside your home. A remote camera such as Wyze, Furbo, or Blink can be used to watch your dog’s behavior and body language without altering it with live observation. During this baseline assessment, you will be working to understand your dog’s current comfort level with being alone. How do they react when you leave the house? Do they show signs of distress immediately, or does it take time for their anxiety to peak? Once you have a baseline understanding of your dog's behavior, you can begin to design a training plan that gradually exposes them to longer periods of alone time in a way that feels safe and manageable for them. If you are having trouble identifying any length of time that your dog is comfortable with as a starting point, working with a professional from day 1 can prevent training mistakes or hard absences that will ultimately slow your progress. As a Certified Separation Anxiety Trainer, I have experience helping dog guardians just like you find their starting point and make progress towards their goals; please book a free call to find out how I can help you and your dog.
Ruling Out Medical Issues:
Excellent training won’t resolve a physical problem, so it’s important to discuss your dog’s separation-related behavior problems with your vet - ideally before you even start training! Medical issues including dental pain, arthritis, urinary tract infections, and canine cognitive dysfunction can all lead to behavior changes that may be mistaken for separation anxiety. Discussing your dog’s behavior changes with your vet will allow you to rule out medical issues and move forward with training confidently.
Some dogs are experiencing profound distress which can be difficult to tackle with training alone; medication can help these dogs and their humans make progress and take back their lives, fear free. If you have ruled out illness and injury but your dog is still experiencing separation-related behavior problems, medication may be a helpful aid to your training. As a behavior consultant, I cannot recommend for or against medication for your dog, but I have put together a list of medication resources so you can enter this conversation with your vet informed about your options and ready to advocate for your dog.
Building Stress Resilience:
If your dog is experiencing fear, anxiety, or stress in multiple contexts of their life, it will be exponentially harder to help them tackle their fear of being alone. Making small changes to your dog’s routine and training outside of absence practice can help them feel calmer, more relaxed, and more confident as they head into training sessions. Depending on your dog’s individual needs, the steps we take to build stress resilience and set them up for success with absence training will vary. However, there are some commonalities!
Common Strategies for Building Stress Resilience in Dogs:
Increase Problem-Solving Opportunities: Low-stakes opportunities to solve problems and make good things happen through their own actions can boost positive emotions and reduce stress. Research shows that dogs do experience “eureka moments” when they receive a reward after solving a puzzle, and that those bursts of positive emotion can have positive welfare implications. Feeding your dog out of a food toy or teaching a new game or skill are just a few ways we can increase joy and reduce stress for our dogs.
Increase Choice and Control: Allowing your dog to make more choices and have more control over what happens to them and when can create optimistic, confident dogs. When safe, allow your dog to lead the way on walks and sniff every cool smell they find. Give your dog multiple chew options instead of sticking with the same old, same old. Offer multiple beds for your dog to move between during the day, with at least one in a sunny spot and one in a cooler corner. Let your dog say “no thanks” to petting from strangers, greetings from other dogs, and walks in inclement weather.
Avoid Punishment: Avoiding punishment is one of the most important steps you can take to help your dog feel optimistic and build enough resilience to conquer their separation anxiety. Bark collars, e-collars, slip leads, prong collars, and choke chains all rely on unpleasant consequences to suppress behaviors you don’t like, creating dogs who “behave” out of fear. These fearful dogs are living lives with more tension and anxiety than their peers who are trained with reward-based methods, which makes it harder for them to overcome specific fears such as separation anxiety. Scary behavior from their humans such as yelling, “alpha rolling,” spanking, and looming over them can also create fear. If you need help modifying your dog’s behavior without the use of punishment, please reach out for help!
Bringing in an Expert:
While resolving separation anxiety in dogs is possible with patience and consistency, it's not always easy. In fact, it’s usually not! If you've tried the methods outlined above without success, don't hesitate to seek professional guidance from a certified dog trainer or behavior consultant. Separation anxiety is a complex and tricky behavior problem, which even many expert trainers choose to refer out. Working with someone who specializes in separation anxiety training (like me!) can help you make progress when you’re feeling stuck.
As a Certified Separation Anxiety Trainer, I can help you identify underlying causes of your dog's anxiety and tailor a training plan to address them effectively. I can also provide support and guidance to help you navigate the challenges of separation anxiety and ensure that you and your dog achieve success.
Ready to tackle your dog’s separation anxiety once and for all?