Mythbusting: Separation Anxiety

Does your dog tear up the house while you’re away? Are neighbors complaining about constant whining, barking, and howling during your absences? Is your normally housetrained dog making a mess when home alone? Separation anxiety is one of the most common behavior problems in pet dogs, affecting millions of dogs in the US alone! This condition can be difficult to live with, and the internet is filled with advice that is well-meaning but just plain wrong - sometimes even downright harmful! Before you can help your dog overcome this issue, you need to know just what you’re dealing with! In this post, we debunk 11 of the most common myths about separation anxiety and provide you with the truth, backed up by decades of scientific research.

Myth: You caused your dog’s separation anxiety by “spoiling” them.

Truth: Research has shown no link between separation anxiety and behaviors like feeding your dog from the table, letting them sleep in your bed, or taking them along on errands and outings.

Being affectionate and loving with your dog is a great way to build a strong and stable bond, not a problematic urge you need to resist! In fact, withholding affection and being cold or distant with your dog can actually increase anxiety, making many behavior problems worse in the long run. Feel free to shower your dog with love, attention, and treats whenever you want; you won’t be increasing their risk of developing or worsening separation anxiety.

Myth: Your dog is angry that you left them and is “getting back at you” by acting up.

Truth: Dogs with separation anxiety have a profound fear of being alone; they are scared, not spiteful.

These dogs truly do believe that they are experiencing a crisis, something so scary that it launches their body and brain into “fight or flight” mode. Vocalizing, destruction, pottying indoors, escape attempts, and even self-harm behaviors are their desperate attempts to cope with an overwhelming situation.

Myth: Only rescue dogs get separation anxiety.

Truth: We see separation anxiety in all kinds of dogs, from all walks of life.

Separation anxiety shows up in purebred dogs and mixes, adults and puppies, and dogs with a wide variety of life experiences. There are many factors involved in a dog developing separation anxiety, including genetics, early experiences, and even maternal stress before your dog was born! It’s not all how you raise them, and preventing behavior problems is more complicated than you may think!

Myth: Dogs can “grow out of separation anxiety.”

Truth: If your dog is experiencing distress when home alone, they need your help feeling better.

Untreated fear and anxiety don’t spontaneously resolve on their own; in fact, they very frequently grow worse! Silly as it may seem to us, a dog with separation anxiety genuinely believes they are in danger when home alone; it’s up to us to teach them that they are safe. Dogs who are barking, howling, destructive, or soiling the house when alone are very unlikely to “get over it” on their own.

Myth: Getting more exercise will cure separation anxiety - just tire your dog out before you go!

Truth: Fearful dogs don’t stop being fearful just because they’re tired.

Exercise is so important for our dogs’ welfare, but it’s unfortunately not the solution for separation anxiety. What often happens when we try to exercise our way out of separation anxiety is that we build incredible athletes who just need more and more exercise. Now we have a dog who is anxious and difficult to keep up with!

Myth: Getting another dog will fix your dog’s separation anxiety.

Truth: While a small percentage of dogs with separation anxiety do get better with another dog in the home, this is really a fear of being left by humans.

Many dogs in multi-dog homes develop separation anxiety at some point in their lives. Bringing home a second dog is unlikely to cure your first dog’s separation anxiety but will definitely add complication and expenses. Make sure you are ready for the added expense and time investment of bringing home a second dog, and don’t plan on your new dog fixing your first dog’s separation anxiety.

Myth: You need to punish your dog for their alone-time behavior, or they won’t know it’s wrong.

Truth: Punishing behaviors that are rooted in fear or anxiety increases those feelings, worsening the behavior in the long run.

If your dog is anxious about being left home alone and we add anxiety about what will happen to them when you return, we are going to have a very anxious dog on our hands! The more anxious your dog is, the more likely we are to see worsening behavior problems. The solution is not to punish your dog but rather to address the root cause of their behavior: their fear and anxiety.

Myth: If you leave the TV or radio on, it will keep your dog company when you leave.

Truth: You are so much more than a source of noise to your dog; a TV or radio is no replacement for your presence.

Much as we would love for the solution to be this simple, very few dogs show significant improvement with the addition of background noise. This technique can be helpful when working with a dog who is also sound sensitive and worried about noises outside. Drowning out the environmental noises with something steady and soothing can give these dogs one less thing to be stressed about, so we can make steadier progress with our separation anxiety training.

Myth: If you leave your dog with an article of clothing that smells like you, they will be less anxious.

Truth: If your dog is home alone, they are already surrounded by your scent!

While scented clothing or blankets can be a big comfort to dogs during visits to the vet or a boarding facility, dogs experiencing separation anxiety at home are already surrounded by things that smell like you; if this was going to help, it already would have!

Myth: Separation anxiety requires face-to-face contact with a trainer near you.

Truth: Separation anxiety is best treated online, through remote training.

Separation anxiety specialists work with clients all over the world! This remote training avoids teaching the dog that the trainer's presence predicts absence training, something that can increase anxiety about the trainer instead of decreasing anxiety about home alone time. Training remotely allows us to practice training in the real problem context: when the dog is left alone.

Myth: Separation anxiety is not treatable.

Truth: With proper treatment, the prognosis for dogs with separation anxiety is EXCELLENT.

We treat separation anxiety the same way we treat phobias in humans, through careful, systematic desensitization or “gradual exposure.” With careful observation of the dog’s body language and a personalized training plan, we give the dog repeated, “safe” experiences with the thing that scares them: time alone. By moving at the dog’s pace and resisting our urge to rush towards our goal, most dogs are able to overcome their separation anxiety and learn to be relaxed and calm during absences. For most dogs, the best approach is a combination of behavior modification training and anti-anxiety medication or supplements. If you think your dog may be suffering from separation anxiety, talk to your vet about their symptoms sooner rather than later, so we can get them on the road to feeling better ASAP.

Living with separation anxiety is no walk in the park, but this doesn’t need to be your whole life! We have the tools to help you and your dog through this, so you can leave this behavior problem in the past and head towards a much brighter future.

Ready for a better way forward? Please reach out!